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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?